...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
