your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
