this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
