I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
