is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
