I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He did a backflip because drugs
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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