and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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