I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
