so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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