no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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