You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
