guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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