I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
