went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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