why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
