They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
