I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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