I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
