look no pants
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I could fuck to npr.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
