So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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