why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
