please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
