WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you have feelings for this penis?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
