Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
