similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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