He kissed a someone with a penis
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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