I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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