remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
