she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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