you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
