new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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