i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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