FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
