Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
