I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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