rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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