So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
