They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize