worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
