Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize