Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
