Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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