What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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