i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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