Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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