Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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