Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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