No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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