But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize