$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
