i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
