I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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