pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
