break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
