I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Congratulations! We have a period
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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