Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I touched a dick in church today
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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