____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
