what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
