Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
