Someone shit on the floor
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
