I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
